Back to the Past (a Tad of the Future) and a Bit of Right Now

I'm currently sat (sitting - sorry mum) in a hostel called Good Dream in Krabi, Thailand. We got here yesterday and are struggling to come to terms with the fact that we now have to do things for ourselves after the luxury of Malaysia with the Phoon family and friends.

The deal here is that if you buy anything you get half an hour on t'internet for free. Which means whilst Helen attempts to finish her book, I'm buying beer and squeezing out a long overdue blog. Obviously not enough fibre in my diet.

A few things deserve revisiting now as they have actually had an effect on the last week or so. 

I didn't mention that we went to go and see The Dark Knight with KC which was fucking awesome, and has drawn the Keaton vs. Bale debate to near climax. It's currently pressing its perineum and thinking about the Milk Cup winning Arsenal team of 1993/94.

Since leaving KC and Aunty in KL we have thought about them lots, and apparently they have missed us too, so hopefully if we can fit it into our militant schedule and should be able to pop back in on them in September on the way back down. Not sure who'd be happier...

This was cemented when we heard that Aunty has a very sad philosophy that she must have done something very bad in a previous life, as 'everyone she cares for goes away'. This brought Helen to tears and me to manly gusts of blub.

*A warning to my father - if we can get Aunty on the plane to England she's coming to stay in B-Town for a bit - break out the Tiger Beer and Menthol fags*

I am also yet to retell how I'm being an incredibly brave boy. Since we left Heathrow I have not said 'No fucking way' to anything - even soft fruit! 

You may or not know that I have a - perfectly legitimate - fear of fruit that either will explode in your mouth (grapes) has hair on it (strawberries) or generally doesn't look very appetising (any other fruit apart from apples).

Yet, it seems that fear can be completely overridden by that other characteristic that I associate myself with frequently - embarrassment.

I have tried everything that has been offered to me including fruits such as Mangosteen and Durian - the proclaimed 'King of Fruits' - which is so potent that in hotels there are signs saying 'No Pets. No Durian'. It stinks. And it's - sorry Aunty, KC, Felicia and Tynners - FUCKING HORRIBLE.

I did have Marmite crab (yeah, Marmite crabs, wanna fightaboudit?) though, which were actually really nice. Apart from I ate loads of shell and the next morning it cut my bum.

After I sprayed my bloghurt all over a computer in the Cameron Highlands the Dagger and I decided to partake in a wee spot of drinkingmanship games to polish up in time for our jaunt to (the apparently pretty decadent, sic.) Thailand.

Do not drink Polish vodka at 4000 metres above sea level. This will happen.

We did however invent a rather good game called 'Where is Hilary Duff' - rules available on request. 

The next morning we went to book our ticket outta there and met a cool dude of Chinese descent that, without warning or permission, told us all about the Malaysian political system - which is very interesting and you should look into it you bastard plebeians as I don't have the time or inclination to go into it now. 

This feller was a legend and brought a bit of depth to an otherwise puddle of social knowledge that we had about Malaysia.

Also, rather importantly, when we were in Sing-Singapore we shared a dorm room with (along with another 22 people) two young pups by the names of George and Hannah. (Incidentally George looks like the 'I see dead people' kid will in ten years time and Hannah bears a strikingly similar poise both in looks and attitude as our old mate Pip from Uni.)

We didn't spend a great deal of time with them but did have a quick chat about our (now seemingly so distant) time in India. 

Helen swapped A Thousand Splendid Suns with Hannah for a book about a chap in prison in South America, where they had spent about five months. South America, not prison. They're far too nice and anyway George is from fucking Kent. Or Shepherd's Bush, I don't know, he sees dead people.

So, having just about learned their names, or rather remembered their faces - we randomly bumped into them on the Perhentian (meaning, roughly, Stop) Islands. It was both a lovely surprise and slightly embarrassing when I said 'It's the ghost kid freak and Pip' rather louder than intended. 

We spent lots of time with them and their buddies Dave and Amy (brownest girl in the world) and will hopefully end up doing more-of-the-same later on the Thai islands.

It was Hannah's birthday whilst we were there and we successfully trial ran 'Where's Hilary Duff'. To mixed reviews. I'm not sure if this was due to the game itself or the fact that we were drinking something akin to windscreen washer fluid that I'd purchased from a man called Dave from High Wycombe.

On the island, which was idyllic at worst, we did a mixture of nothing and extreme exercise. We (I, Helen feigned) actually managed to canoe around the whole of small Island in a little less than four hours. Check it out - I'm well strong and that.

We also went snorkelling, my first ever proper experience of it, and saw rays, turtles (ranging from baby to fookin' huge), all sorts of brightly painted fish and motherlicking black-tip reef sharks which was superwicked. 

I now cannot wait to learn how to dive properly in Koh Tao on the other side of Thailand. Helen's going to do her masters so she can, and I quote: 'Always be one better than the boy'.

We also witnessed a break in at the hostel reception by Mr Lizard (or it may have been another Mr Lizard...) All photos to follow once I've got permission to buy another beer off'f Dagley - she's here now...

Both before and after we went to the Islands we stayed with friends of the Phoon family, Felicia and Tynners in their magnificent condo overlooking the bay of Penang. They, once again, spoiled us rotten (they had bought me a crate of Tiger beer on the demand of Aunty - despite the fact they don't drink themselves - I drank a total of 5 in 3 days - what a pussy).

We had a good time in Penang, and certainly to my mind had some of our best culinary experiences yet. We went to a fantastic small, but incredibly packed, hawker stall where we had the most amazing food including an ice cream style thing that you eat throughout your meal - mothers would not be pleased.

We also saw the Old Fort, Georgetown and got addicted to Iced Lemon Tea - Rodia you'd love this shit.

This is too long and I'm sure you're a bit bored now. So I'll say toodle-hannah - I mean pip - and promise to try and make the next one funnier and shorter. 

Like Cannon and Ball.
Fearmalangay x