Koh Koh Hops

It's been at least a week since the last long blogslog, and we have been to a fair few places and done a fair few things. These spurts of energy and activity were also intermittently speared by hours of doing absolutely sod all. I personally liked the times in between the two.

I left you hanging on my every word in Krabi after our reasonably long bus journey and having just got ourselves into a tastefully decorated little hostel. Having spent a lot of time in 'real people's' houses where I'd has to behave myself, my balls were about ready to explode. And when I saw the nice comfy bed that I could try and trick Helen on they almost did.

Unfortunately for me, the room was also very well lit. So well lit that the curtains 'covering' the sizeable windows of the room were about a third the size of them and anyway completely see through. I would have to be at my most devious, or Helen would have to be at her most asleep, for this to work. (KIDDING! Sort of.)

Part one of the plan was to take her down to another hostel which was just down the road from the 'Good Dream' where I wrote the last blooog. I knew for a fact that they were showing Michael Moore's 'Sicko' that evening, and if I could get enough green thai curry, left-wing propaganda and anti-American gusto inside of her I might, just might...

Unfortunately the fat socialist could only convince Helen that she was officially a xenophobe.

Krabi was not without its highlights however. Brian, the American bloke that ran the hostel, provided me with yet more evidence that football is actually quite popular in the states despite what American's who are shit at it say. 

We went on a little boat with a chap through the mangroves (sort of) to some caves (sort of) and then back again (sort of). This was a lot more interesting than it sounds (sort of). 
We also met a charming couple who had been away travelling for about a year entitled Ed and Nicky. They entertained us and shat us up in equal measure. Entertained us with their anti-Zionist rants (Daggers was in bits) - shat us up with the fact they'd spent a million pounds in five months in South America. 

Ed also made us feel pretty darn cool and entertaining ourselves by saying: 'Hopefully we'll bump into each other again on the way round. And I genuinely mean that, rather than the way we say it to every other wanker we meet.' I shared his sentiments and went home for a cold shower.

Next up was the island of Koh Phi Phi. This was a bit of a write off as it was mostly full of young Brits getting slashed twenty-five hours a day. But, like Ghandi said, 'If you can't beat them, join them in funnelling Thai Whiskey'.

Thus, we went to a Thai Boxing night, where I amazed both Helen and myself by not getting drunk and taking about how 'I used to do that' and 'I was pretty good yeah, but you know, football and that, sniff...'.

Helen made her 'first step into a lager world', as Ben Kenobi sort of said, by having a really big pint of Chang beer.

That night the Heavens opened and pissed on our sunny chips. This was actually terrifying as the noise of the rain on our tin roof and the thousands of other tin roofs around us sounded like the sea. This is obviously not something that you want to hear in Koh Phi Phi. This bout of rain stopped play but increased the times we have seen Old School on a Dodgy Versatile Disc one-fold.

We also accidentally made best friends with an Irish couple who'd had a few shandies. This was until the lad said that his email was bonothesecond@hotmali.com. Helen proceeded to call Bono a 'cunt' and for a minute it looked like it was all going to end in a bloody puddle of Sangsom. Disaster was however averted by pointing one way, shouting 'It's the Pope!' and running off in the opposite direction. Dares moore ta Oireland dan dis...

We got the water-train to Phuket (pronounced Pooget - in my book funnier than Fuckit) where we went to the beach. I played in the massive waves like some kind of special child whilst Helen read a Robert Fisk book that she had long-term borrowed (i.e. half-inched) from the hostel we were staying in. It weighs 1.8 kgs. It lives in her bag. Her bag lives on my shoulder.

I got sunburned like some kind of English prick who plays in the waves all day and thinks factor 15 sun-cream is some kind of magic forcefield and we also had a Magnum. This was probably my favourite moment of the last nine weeks.

We then went to Koh Phangan for a one night stopover to avoid the overnight ferry from Hell and are now in Koh Tao.

To be continued when the Thai man lets me back in his shop...

Will Chris go scuba diving? Will Helen finish her book? Will we have something other than red or green thai curry for dinner?

Tune in soon, same blog time, same blog channel!